I need something POSITIVE right now!

Ryder has already had his 4 month checkup :) & his shots ):
The doctor said he's 26.18 inches long (81 percentile) and he weighs 15.1 lbs (40 percentile).
All this time I thought he getting too chunky. Well, really, that was stemmed from the doctor we saw last time who said he was too big. lol Either way, I LOVE my little man. He's perfect to us & Heavenly Father... that's all that matters!
I feel like the worlds worst mom though. Lately, I have had to spend a LOT of time working on my resume, searching for jobs & applying (which is a REALLY long process these days). Therefore, my little monkey has had to spend a lot of time laying on the floor playing with his toys. I'm sure he doesn't mind, but I definitely do! I would much rather spend my time playing with him, but unfortunately I need to find a job. SO far, NOTHING has come from my hours of work. It's starting to really upset me because we need the money. Vegas is breaking our savings REALLY quick. Not to mention, we will be moving in a couple of months & I need a job lined up there. I figured maybe having my CNA would really help me out. If I would have just gotten it in HS like I wanted. HAH! But my family said golf was more important for college. I think back on some of my advice & laugh. A few things have really screwed me over. But I won't go into that right now... Finding an OPEN CNA program right now is ridiculously hard. The one thing that I thought would give me a little hope in this move isn't working out for me so far. I'm really praying that someone drops out of the program at CSN or that I can get into the accelerated program or that I can find a job both here & in Logan. I'm asking for a lot huh?! Sadly, this whole thing has me really down and depressed. I feel like a loser for not being able to find a job worth a darn or get into a CNA program. I was already told by a college that my GPA was too low for a competitive spot in a nursing program. Wonderful. I've been trying my hardest to get out of this funk, but it's really hard when nothing positive is happening. I guess I gotta keep on praying?!
Well I guess on a positive side, we found a carseat at a garage sale this weekend for $5! That was a blessing since we really couldn't afford to buy a new one. OH & Ryder monkey likes his new toys that cost me a whole .50! Garage saling (sp?!) is my NEW favorite hobby.