Sleeless Nights

I dread Sundays. That just means my weekend help with the baby is gone. I figure since Landon has to work long hours during the week, I won't ask him for help with the baby during the night. It takes a HUGE toll on a person to care for a newborn 24/7. I admire my good friend Callie for being a single mom. Sometimes I feel bad for even complaining because I should feel blessed that I'm able to stay at home with my baby. Maybe I'm just a terrible mom for even thinking that I feel trapped and miserable. It's only been 4.5 weeks, but I feel like I've been doing this for years already. Ryder used to be on a do-able schedule until we took him to Idaho. He'd eat about every 3-4 hours. Now he can't seem to get enough. He eats every 2 hours during the night. By the time he's done eating he's eaten anywhere from 1-4 oz. Then in the day time its at least 2 oz every hour. He can't figure the binky out yet. We put it in his mouth & it flies out. One of us usually ends up holding it until we give up. He's started this annoying swimming on his back type of move. Around 2 weeks he refused to be swaddled. If blankets are touching his feet, he screams and kicks until they are taken off of them. It's crazy! I've finally started putting a light afghan on him & "tucking him in" to his bassinet. That way he feels a little more free with his feet, but he can't move as much. Trapping his arms is impossible, so I don't even try. It works okay, but not long enough to get any sleep! I'm trying to hold it together because I have A LOT on my plate right now. We're still planning on moving in november, but I may come sooner. All depends on the job situation. I'm basically going to school for 2. All while trying to keep a part of "me" alive and still working on how to be a good wife.
I had good intentions of going to church this morning. I was actually REALLY excited about it. But we ended up watching a movie and finally getting Ryder to sleep around 3. But I was back up at 530 to feed him, then again at 730 (Landon took that one). By that time I was worn out and in a fight with Landon. Crappy morning if you ask me. My goal this week is to work really hard at getting Ryder on a better schedule. Right now I have a hard time of keeping him awake in the daytime because I'm so worn out from the night.
On a better note, Friday night we had dinner with some friends that PCS'd here from Lakenheath. It was SO nice to have other companionship for the night. We haven't done that since we moved here in October. Pretty sad, but we just don't know anyone. With Landon's job, he doesn't get the opportunity too either. Yes, I know church would help. Saturday night we spent the day with Decker and Sarah shopping & eating. It was great getting out with others for once. Minus the sleepless nights, it was a great weekend with family and friends.