Ready for the 4th!

Can you believe it's already July 1?! Holy COW (i love cows) where did the time go! Landon & I have decided we need to get away from Vegas for the weekend! Woo 4 day weekend for us! So, we decided to head up to Idaho & spend time with family. Things have been extremely stressful for us. I put in about 5-8 hours a day in job hunting & applying. Talk about tiring! Its hard to keep track of everything since I'm applying to 2 towns! I'm hoping someone will be interested in me somewhere! I mean, c'mon, I'm a great person. lol
I better get to packing! Its 5pm & I still haven't packed any of us! Landon has a long night at work so we probably won't get to leave until around 8 or 9, which puts us there around 6am... our usual! Can't wait to see everyone! (:

I need something POSITIVE right now!

Ryder has already had his 4 month checkup :) & his shots ):
The doctor said he's 26.18 inches long (81 percentile) and he weighs 15.1 lbs (40 percentile).
All this time I thought he getting too chunky. Well, really, that was stemmed from the doctor we saw last time who said he was too big. lol Either way, I LOVE my little man. He's perfect to us & Heavenly Father... that's all that matters!
I feel like the worlds worst mom though. Lately, I have had to spend a LOT of time working on my resume, searching for jobs & applying (which is a REALLY long process these days). Therefore, my little monkey has had to spend a lot of time laying on the floor playing with his toys. I'm sure he doesn't mind, but I definitely do! I would much rather spend my time playing with him, but unfortunately I need to find a job. SO far, NOTHING has come from my hours of work. It's starting to really upset me because we need the money. Vegas is breaking our savings REALLY quick. Not to mention, we will be moving in a couple of months & I need a job lined up there. I figured maybe having my CNA would really help me out. If I would have just gotten it in HS like I wanted. HAH! But my family said golf was more important for college. I think back on some of my advice & laugh. A few things have really screwed me over. But I won't go into that right now... Finding an OPEN CNA program right now is ridiculously hard. The one thing that I thought would give me a little hope in this move isn't working out for me so far. I'm really praying that someone drops out of the program at CSN or that I can get into the accelerated program or that I can find a job both here & in Logan. I'm asking for a lot huh?! Sadly, this whole thing has me really down and depressed. I feel like a loser for not being able to find a job worth a darn or get into a CNA program. I was already told by a college that my GPA was too low for a competitive spot in a nursing program. Wonderful. I've been trying my hardest to get out of this funk, but it's really hard when nothing positive is happening. I guess I gotta keep on praying?!
Well I guess on a positive side, we found a carseat at a garage sale this weekend for $5! That was a blessing since we really couldn't afford to buy a new one. OH & Ryder monkey likes his new toys that cost me a whole .50! Garage saling (sp?!) is my NEW favorite hobby.

Updates...

Ryder is 4 months old tomorrow. When did my little newborn burrito turn into a curious, smiling, "talkative" infant? Since we decided that going to base everyday for lunch was costing us too much money, Ryder has been extremely bored with me at the house. We play as much as possible, but unfortunately I have to clean the house and do laundry on some days. Last night, we got the brilliant idea to buy him an activity center. He absolutely loves it... and mommy loves it too (: He spent most of the morning playing with the frog, while I did the dishes. Before I knew it, he was ready for a long nap.
I am totally in love with this guy! (:
I was thinking about his baby book today & how empty every page looks right now. Then I thought, "I can't even remember exact dates anymore!" Since I spend everyday sitting at home & on the computer... why not use this blog to keep track of dates? brilliant idea! haha we'll see how well it works for me.

.school.moving.renters.jobs.daycare. these thoughts swarm my brain anymore. Landon is separating from the military for good. He's done in November, which isn't too far away. We are good at making last minute decisions. However, this one is HUGE and extremely stressful. Now, we are debating over Utah State University in Logan UT or University of Utah in Salt Lake City. In Logan, there's family. In SLC, we'll be going at it alone. We came to the realization last night that I'm only going to be able to go part time most likely. That way I can work full time and be able to share in the responsibility of caring for Ryder. Landon can work part time (maybe) & go to school full time... which leaves him with spare time for being Mr Mom. I heard back from Convergys yesterday & have a phone interview on Monday. It's definitely not my dream job or number 1 choice, but I guess I have no choice at this point... Ugh. Stress.

Congrats!

I posted my last post too fast...
I wanted to congratulate Amanda and Tim Kelly on their newest edition! Lauren is a healthy beautiful baby!

Mess of a Week

We moved into our house on Chilie Verde Dr, October 20, 2009. Today is April 15,2010 and I just got motivated to de-clutter, sanitize, scrub, & clean our ENTIRE 2,200 sq foot house. You are probably curious what my motivation was... a HUGE hairy gray 8 legged enemy in my shower. He thought he'd outsmart Landon by climbing down the drain. Only Landon was smarter & sprayed water down the drain. out popped the ugly thing & SMASH, my husband is a hero! I would of had a heart attack if I had found him. Needless to say, I'm waiting to shower until he gets home to inspect first (: So far, the upstairs is still waiting because the downstairs is THAT messy. 1 living room got cleaned & rearranged last night. Funny enough, it's the "spare" living room & the first room that people walk into. Well, it was more like our storage room. I'm sure people that we were disgusting. Not anymore though! (: Our other living room got majorly decluttered. It almost looks empty. Next i'm hitting the kitchen & downstairs hallway where i stacked the clutter. haha, yes i moved clutter from 1 place to another.

Landon & I also decided last night that we have NO choice, but to start working out. We took our measurements, I bawled like a baby & declared to never eat another bite of food again. Tonight I start my workout. 5am wasn't so appealing this morning!

On a much happier note, my little cutie has found his smile & it never leaves his face. He's also discovered the mobile of animals on his bouncer. We gave in & bought him a toy, Dylan the Duck, to hang on his car seat. don't worry, i don't hang it in front of his face in the car. It sits in his lap so he can push on him to make noise.
It was love at first sight (:

All-Star Mom

I still find myself frustrated over my cousin's facebook status the other day... "i'm wondering how others can be so inconsiderate?? i have a new baby & i'm not taking her out only a couple days old." That really pissed me off. I wish was an all-star mom like my cousin. All I wanted to do was tell her to go to hell. Why be so judgmental of other moms. Everyone is entitled to their opinion on how to raise their babies. We may not always agree, but there's no reason to bring it up on facebook. Of course, I told her that was sh!tty of her. Then, after other mom's took her side, I deleted my comment and gave up. However, I'm STILL fuming over the whole thing!
I'm a new mom. no where near perfect. never will be. don't plan to be. I had never held a baby, changed a diaper, much less knew how to care for one. I've struggled with depression in the past and I didn't want to get PPD which would affect my baby. I knew that if I didn't try to make things normal for myself I was going to slip into depression. Not to mention I was terrified of being alone with the baby & that was coming quick! So, we went out a couple of times. It was good for me to see how to handle a baby in public from someone with more experience and of course the help of my husband. We always made sure his stroller and car seat were covered entirely. Maybe once we forgot the blanket when he was a couple weeks old. Guilty there. And I only had to change 1 diaper in public. Call me selfish. Call me inconsiderate. Call me whatever. Just don't call me a bad mother for trying to figure out whats in the best interest of my child.

There. I've spoke... well typed, my peace. OH, I've also made it my mission to not judge other moms. It's uncalled for really. You get nowhere by doing it. So why waste precious time judging others when you can be focusing on your own child?! Okay, I'm seriously done now.

a naive mind.

Last night I had a random memory from a couple years back...

I met an older friend at an OBU basketball game. It was their reunion weekend. As I was sitting next to her she was looking over the "what are you doing now" papers and stated shoot me if I ever put homemaker as my job. At the time, it was funny. I had no clue what a homemaker even consisted of. My initial thought was laziness and an excuse to not work. I couldn't fathom being a stay at home mom. boy, was I wrong, WAY wrong! Now take into consideration at this time in my life family and kids were FAR from my naive mind.
Right now I would be writing homemaker as my occupation and let me tell you it was one HARD job. Learning to multitask has probably been my most challenging task yet. Doing laundry while trying to play with Ryder is challenging. He demands my constant attention, unless he's sleeping. But being a homemaker isn't just taking care of a baby, its taking care of the house, your husband, bills, laundry, dishes, meals, shopping and the list goes on... for me, that's a full time job that is much more rewarding than bringing a little paycheck. i'm so thankful that i can stay at home and watch my baby grow up. I dont have to miss out on his "firsts". My heart seriously melts when I look at my precious little boy, especially when he smiles at me. There is no greater feeling than looking over his crib, him looking up at me & smiling as big a smile that he can muster up. I wish every mom had this opportunity .


"By and large, mother's and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class." - Anne Marrow Lindbergh

news, news & more news!

I'm pretty sure no one really reads this thing or cares what I have to say, but its a good place for me to keep track of memories...

Ryder News:
Our little boy is getting bigger and bigger everyday. He loves baths and is learning to like tummy time. As soon as his little neck can support his big head I bet he'll love it even more. He hasn't spent much time in his crib, so I'm trying to put him in it more. Eventually he's going to outgrow his bassinet. Actually, it'll probably happen in the next couple of weeks. My baby is getting so stinkin' big! I'm trying to get him on a schedule, which is hard by the way. He likes to lay and flail (?) around until he falls asleep. This process can take anywhere from 20 minutes to over an hour. I figured if I fed him and put him in his crib around 9, he'd be asleep by 10, which is our bedtime. We'll see how well this works out for me. He's probably still too young to be trying. Every night seems to be different when it comes to sleep. Some days its 3-4 hours, others its every 2.

New Toy:
My camera has been pretty poopy lately. One picture shows a red face, the next is a bright white face. It snaps slow & the wheel thing has gotten lose. Sometimes the images are blurry. Inconsistency is my enemy when it comes to capturing memories. I've been wanting to explore my photographer side (if i even have one), but its just not happening for me with this camera. So, Landon bought me a new pretty silver Nikon S4000. I'm still debating about this purchase, so I left it in the box. Not sure how that will help me decide, but nonetheless it will remain untouched until I'm ready. HA! That logic just sounds ridiculous now that I think about it.

Future Fun:
We are taking a family vacation in JUNE to OREGON! I've never been to Oregon and of course neither has Ryder. Jackie rented a condo there from June 4-11. Right now we are trying to decide between driving or flying. Driving will take us a solid 2 days to get there, but will be so pretty driving along the Cali (haven't been there either) coast. OR flying, which is the same price. Either way will be a new adventure for us with Ryder.

Good News:
Landon received his acceptance letter from USU today. He was SO excited and I'm so excited for him. I know that was a big relief for him.
Also, Josh is staying with us until Wednesday. He just flew got off of his plane! I know Landon is really excited to have his brother here. I volunteered to stay at home tonight with Ryder so they could go have some fun on the strip. At first I was a little bummed about my decision, but a little me time is great. I'm able to finish the laundry, do some homework, catch up on my blogging, and watch a movie! Ryder is sleeping in his crib. At least I hope he's sleeping! I haven't heard him flailing around and cooing in a little while. It's getting easier on me to let him lay there and do that. We rented 2012 and Brothers for the weekend. 2012 was not my fav. I get too freaked out by end of the world talk. I haven't seen Brothers yet, so I'm looking forward to it.
OHH more good news... The couple that we hung out with England finally got here! I spent ALL day Friday hanging out with Sara and shopping. It was so nice to actually "hang out" with someone again. We haven't hung out with anyone since we moved here in October. There's another family here that PCS'd before us. We hadn't hung out with them until the Decker's got here. So far we've had dinner a couple of times with them. It's been wonderful!

Well, I hear Ryder "talking" from his crib.

Sleeless Nights

I dread Sundays. That just means my weekend help with the baby is gone. I figure since Landon has to work long hours during the week, I won't ask him for help with the baby during the night. It takes a HUGE toll on a person to care for a newborn 24/7. I admire my good friend Callie for being a single mom. Sometimes I feel bad for even complaining because I should feel blessed that I'm able to stay at home with my baby. Maybe I'm just a terrible mom for even thinking that I feel trapped and miserable. It's only been 4.5 weeks, but I feel like I've been doing this for years already. Ryder used to be on a do-able schedule until we took him to Idaho. He'd eat about every 3-4 hours. Now he can't seem to get enough. He eats every 2 hours during the night. By the time he's done eating he's eaten anywhere from 1-4 oz. Then in the day time its at least 2 oz every hour. He can't figure the binky out yet. We put it in his mouth & it flies out. One of us usually ends up holding it until we give up. He's started this annoying swimming on his back type of move. Around 2 weeks he refused to be swaddled. If blankets are touching his feet, he screams and kicks until they are taken off of them. It's crazy! I've finally started putting a light afghan on him & "tucking him in" to his bassinet. That way he feels a little more free with his feet, but he can't move as much. Trapping his arms is impossible, so I don't even try. It works okay, but not long enough to get any sleep! I'm trying to hold it together because I have A LOT on my plate right now. We're still planning on moving in november, but I may come sooner. All depends on the job situation. I'm basically going to school for 2. All while trying to keep a part of "me" alive and still working on how to be a good wife.
I had good intentions of going to church this morning. I was actually REALLY excited about it. But we ended up watching a movie and finally getting Ryder to sleep around 3. But I was back up at 530 to feed him, then again at 730 (Landon took that one). By that time I was worn out and in a fight with Landon. Crappy morning if you ask me. My goal this week is to work really hard at getting Ryder on a better schedule. Right now I have a hard time of keeping him awake in the daytime because I'm so worn out from the night.
On a better note, Friday night we had dinner with some friends that PCS'd here from Lakenheath. It was SO nice to have other companionship for the night. We haven't done that since we moved here in October. Pretty sad, but we just don't know anyone. With Landon's job, he doesn't get the opportunity too either. Yes, I know church would help. Saturday night we spent the day with Decker and Sarah shopping & eating. It was great getting out with others for once. Minus the sleepless nights, it was a great weekend with family and friends.

One Month Old

Today, my sweet little boy is one month old. Wow, time flew! I was pretty excited about yesterday being Saint Patrick's Day. I've never been one for getting into this holiday, but it was the first holiday I got to put a special outfit on Ryder.
don't let him fool ya, he was thrilled to be dressed up and have endless amounts of pictures taken of him (: I swear he gets cuter everyday. He's finally started smiling a lot. Oh, I made him shed his first tear this morning. I'm a mean mommy. His nose has been stopped up, so I got the booger sucker out and went to work on his nose. Needless to say, he despises it.

How could you not love this little guy?? He's getting so big!

P.S.

Ryder has his 2 week check up today. He's getting to be a BIG boy! At his last check up, he weighed in at 7.4 1/2 lbs, a few ounces under his birth weight of 7.99 lbs. Today he weighed in at 8.4 lbs. YIIIKES! Not to mention he's grown almost an inch! I can't believe my little boy will be 3 weeks old on Thursday! Holy cow!

change is on the horizon...

Okay, so it's been a while since my last post... & there has been a lot going on...

First off, we went to Idaho for the weekend. It was awesome to get away from Vegas. The first day there it snowed about 6 inches. Ryder had a good time meeting the family & hanging out with Grandma Jackie again. We noticed when he's around her, he doesn't scream. As soon as we get him home, he screams. I wish I had that Grandma touch. haha.

Landon took me to Logan, UT & showed me around Utah State University. It was a beautiful campus. We went to the ROTC building & talked to one of the recruiters for the program. He kind of put my mind to ease... somewhat. I still have my concerns, but who wouldn't when you make that drastic of a change in your life. However, we think it's the best decision for our little family.

It's going to be a huge change for me. I've never lived where it's that cold & snows that much. I'm pretty nervous about things. It'll be nice for Ryder to grow up in the mountains & around family. Vegas is nice for vacations, but it sure does suck to live here. Unfortunately we bought a house when we moved here. We never thought we wouldn't be re-enlisting & moving so soon. The house is going up for rent. Hopefully we can find renters... & good ones at that. Seems like our whole neighborhood is up for sale or rent. I'm glad to be leaving before it goes down any further. I'm not looking forward to repacking our house. It literally just got unpacked. This time I'm starting early & making things organized. Most of our stuff will be in storage for a while since we'll be living in a smaller space.

I wish I had more time to do laundry, pick up the house, cook, do crafty things, enjoy myself. Being a mommy has definitely put a damper on all of those things. The only time I can get anything done is while Ryder sleeps, which gets shorter & shorter everyday it seems. I definitely have a full plate right now. Sometimes it gets pretty overwhelming. I've been getting major headaches since he was born, which has only made the job that much harder.

ugh.

Last night sucked. We decided to wake Ryder up at 0230 for a feeding... only he never went back to sleep. Around 0430 he wanted more food & 5 diaper changes. Close to 0900 he finally fell back asleep until 1100. At 1200, we laid back down until 1400. He didn't fall back asleep until after 1400. We ended up having to drive to base & push him around the BX in the stroller to get him to sleep. Of course, he woke up when we got home. He has been asleep for a couple of hours already. Hopefully he'll sleep for a little while longer. We're exhausted!!
Neither one of us realized how babies are 24/7 because we've had help since we got home from the hospital. Reality has hit us hard... or Ryder just misses his grandma Jackie. haha I'm a little nervous to see how things go once Landon goes back to work on Monday.
On a happier note... I went into the hospital weighing 207 (YIIIIIKES!!!) So far I've lost 26 lbs!! WOO! I still have 50 left to get back to pre-pregnancy weight, but my goal weight is 115. total I have 65 left. It's going to take time, but I'm excited to get started! We ordered p90x to help us both out.
I promise to post pics & stuff later... I keep running out of gas!

Our Little Blessing

Landon Ryder Bell finally made his debut on 18 Feb 2010 at 0724. He weighed 7.99 lbs and was 21'' long. We were released on Saturday, 20 Feb 2010. My family came down on the 13th & waited for the little guy to show up. It was great that they could be there for the birth & hang out. Unfortunately they had to leave the morning we got out of the hospital. I can't believe he's already one week old! Time is already flying by so fast. Last night was his first time to sleep most of the night. I was glad to only have to feed him one time. haha. Waking up every couple of hours to feed is hard work! Takes about an hour to get him fed, changed & back to sleep. Thankfully I've found a little trick... let him eat until he zonks out on his own. Makes things much simpler. Grandma Jackie came down last Saturday to help out. She's been so awesome! It's been nice to get some help from someone much more experienced than us. Not to mention, she gives us a break. Tonight she watched Ryder while we caught a movie. Valentine's Day was great! I loved every minute of it. Jackie flies out tomorrow and then it's just Landon and I... until Monday. Then it's just me. yikes! Well, the little guy is hungry again... big surprise there! More info & pics to come soon (:

Dreadful 40 Weeks

Well, I've gotten behind on this things already!
Things have definitely been busy with family being here. Jackie and Randy were here last week waiting for Ryder's arrival. Of course, he didn't show. Isn't that how it works?! Then my family got in on Saturday and now they're waiting on the little guy. Hopefully he comes before Saturday or they'll have to fly back out here. I think he's being a little stubborn if you ask me. Tomorrow is my 40 week mark and I REALLY don't want to go much longer. For one, I wouldn't think it'd be healthy for the baby. Also, I think it would increase my chances of c-section because he'll keep on growing. The doctors here are really frustrating, so I'm hoping tomorrow is a better visit...
I woke up today with some lower pains. My hips were nearly frozen from all the weight. Not to mention my pelvic bone has so much weight on it it feels bruised. Walking hasn't been fun today. If Ryder doesn't make his debut soon, no one will be here to greet him besides me and Landon. I always said in the beginning that he would either come on Valentine's Day or Landon's birthday. At the time, I was really hoping for V-day, but that has already come and gone. Landon's birthday is Monday and I really don't want to go that much longer. I'm not sure my body can physically go that much longer. I guess on a good note the house is getting super clean. Jackie shampooed our carpets last weekend (thank you!!) & my family has been helping me clean, wash laundry, & the guys are trying to save our grass. I'm definitely grateful for everyone's hard work! Tomorrow I'm rearranging the furniture in the other living room... again (: Then we're heading to the doctor appointment at 1:15! I have zero hopes of hearing anything positive since I'm seeing the doctor that doesn't like to "play God"... so wish us luck!

Another day gone by...

Well, I decided to officially join in in the blogging....
I probably don't have enough to time to even keep up with this thing, but I'll give it a try!
Today has just been another day. I'm up to my eyeballs in homework & housework. No matter how much time I spend on either, I'm still WAY behind. Too bad I can't snap my fingers & everything will write & clean itself. How awesome would that be! (: I would love for my husband to come home from work to a clean house & dinner on the table... wishful thinking! haha This is definitely not the olden days anymore where the woman's place was in the kitchen. After a week of my cooking, Landon will probably banned from there anyway.

For those of you that haven't heard, we went for a 38 week checkup on Monday. The doc said I'm 2 cm dilated & baby has turned down. Now we get to play the waiting game. Sigh! Its been one day since she told me the news & the anxiety is killing me! We are so excited for Ryder to get here!! Not to mention my ribs are ready for a little healing time from having little feet kick them constantly. OUCHIE! However, as anxious as I am, it'd be nice for him to wait until NEXT week. That way I can finish his room, the housework & get caught up on my homework. Either way, we're only 14 days from the due date. I GUESS I could wait if I had too... but NOT any longer than that! (:

On a crappy note... Nevada has raised the water from $.10 to $.20 a gallon & added 5.5% to our energy. Oh My HECK! The bills here are brutal! I get the pleasure of figuring out a budget for us to live by... haha. that'll be a fun time! the trick is actually sticking to that budget. wish me luck!